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The Inward Spiral

by Douglas Gwilym

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1.
Roam (Never, Never) My sister plays violin She’s practicin’ and my door don’t close that tight (la la la la!) The notes go high as a kite That’s just as high as the ceiling We never never roam (doo doot doo doo) I tease the dog The dog eats the cat and The cat cannot escape that My mother’s pies pile high as the skies Pile higher than my ambition (roam if you want to, roam around the world) We never never roam (doo doot doo doo) We never never roam (doo doot doo doo) Little bro is teethin’ on my schoolwork It’s not my homework ‘Cause school is now home My mom is bakin’ instead of skyping with the president My dad is rakin’ not bankin’ with half a bra over his piehole We never never roam (doo doot doo doo) We never never roam (doo doot doo doo) I love you two I love you three I love you four I… I love you more (roam if you want to, roam around the world) I love you five I love you six I love you seven Eight, nine ten, eleven I love you all I love you all We never never roam (doo doot doo doo) We never never roam (doo doot doo doo) We never never roam (doo doot doo doo)
2.
Diamonds 02:45
Diamonds If the world is pressurized Cauterized, exorcized, flatlined If we’re all in black-and-white like So much splatter of myopic paint If our quietnesses are silences And our kindnesses are Shouts in this new world of ours Let’s hope the pressure Let’s hope the pressure Makes us diamonds I’m sorry people x2 For when I get jealous Or go down the upswing Forgetting that you’re human too If the world is pressurized… I’m excited, people x2 To see you face-to-face To feel the pressure of your handshakes And your embrace If the world is brighter now Let’s hope it’s brighter because we’re aware Because we’ve got another step absorbed As to how we get to where There’s a rainbow connection somewhere Somewhere over itself And we can put away the posturing And just be ourselves  
3.
Impostor 02:38
Impostor I’m a shadowy figure, yeah yeah I Live in the shadows You tryna take my spotlight Won’t take it any faster I’m the real deal I’m the dude like no other I’m the king kreel I’m the primary impostor I see what you’re saying but but You really can’t touch me I see the little kindnesses I saw you call your mother I saw the thing you made Because you wanted to help them And now you say you failed because You couldn’t change the weather And now you say you failed because you Couldn’t change the weather And now you think you’re me and that All your ships have all sailed I’m a four-foot-flaming toaster, no no no I’m the overripe banana Your failure’s super cute like A mini muffin in Montana I’m the fat cat Gravitation’s suckin’ up the ether I’m the queen rat Taking your mom to shows to please her I hear what you’re signing but Your signals are fading That joke you told, it took hold Human stocks are trading I heard you whisper a secret I smell the cookies you’re baking I feel the song you sing under your breath All of the giving you’re taking and Now you think you’re in my league and You’re the one who’s faking You’re the one who’s faking You’re the one who’s faking
4.
Marble Hats & Gowns I come out in the dead of night Looking for a haunt Looking for a way home I used to be a circus clown I used to be a tap dancer You might remember me from the Way that stack of newspapers made you sneeze You might remember me From the way your grandma rolled her stockings Down below her knees I’m flitting between the stones I’m really beneath your nose I’m finding new ways to Get my hands solid on things again I’m flitting between the stones I’m really beneath your nose I’m finding new ways to Get my hands on solid things again Come dance with me Put on your marble hat Come shake the ground In a party dress made of Ghostly linen We’ll have the best night ever Rattling the townies We’ll ascend together Queen and King of the mausoleum!
5.
May Day 02:51
May Day I know this will push the bounds of your imagination, I know it’s Highly theoretical But imagine that you had a moment Imagine you had an hour Imagine you had a day That was not with others You may be sayin’ that that is exactly what you’re having now May day It isn’t may day April day June July and August May day It isn’t may day May day May day
6.
Quaran-Teen 03:46
Quaran-Teen I don’t mean to be rude I don’t want to cast aspersions There’s really no way I can say for sure Because I’m in the same boat you are Quaran-Teen But your mom seems to be up to something She may be a little mean (too) While we have our chat on astrophysics While we play D&D While you make your manifesto While you get real green She’s in the background Sharpening her teeth She’s in the background Saying please Oh my yes, oh my yes This is the mighty moment of our lives We’re clambering up trees That were made That were made for you and me Oh, I can tell That everything from here’s Gonna be swell There’s gonna be years I don’t mean to be rude… While we have our chat on metaphysics… Oh-oh-oh-oh It’s the moment of our lives We’re mightier now We’re more potent As a people We’ve come together In unity and power We have things to say We’re somebody, collectively  
7.
[no words]
8.
Go Soft 02:00
Go Soft Mm-hm you say it’s how it’s always been forever Mm-hmm you say it’s out of your hands but You call the shots Mm-hm you say it’s nothing personal It’s only natural It’s the cream rising to the top You’re the lucky one you are You’re the lucky one And there’s no blame to cast You can’t help it You can’t help it But pack your bags All bets are off Get that wooden stick with the bag on the end Your skin is thin, the gloves are off There’s a new thing rising So why don’t you go soft? Why don’t you go soft?
9.
Everything is broken Everything is broken This is a dissonant chord The chord’s not even in the scale Everything’s broken This is a dissonant chord It’s not even in the scale I remember smiles I remember one-liners I remember how you look in the showers that Always came down Never made us frown Never took the day away Everything is broken This is a dissonant chord It’s not even in the scale Everything is broken This is a dissonant chord It’s not even in the scale We never were afraid to walk in the sunlight We never wore masks There was a halo of purity on Everything we ever asked This is a room of dissention It’s not even in the scale We’re standing up for what we think is— This is a room of dissention We’re standing up for what’s— I don’t think we’re so far away That we can’t… find I don’t think we’re so far away That we can’t find each other
10.
Swamp Rats 02:03
Swamp Rats I see you bob your head now to the groovy beat You got a new tattoo and your girl has tiny feet We packed the place again and I can almost think But there’s a nail in my skull and it’s all aflame We’re the Swamp Rats Look into our eyes We’re the thing that scares you We’re like a million tries When your mind fails you and Your legs rot away We’ll pull you down with us You can hear us say We’re the Swamp Rats Look into our eyes We’re the thing that scares you We’re like a million tries Dickie’s been dead for almost six weeks and The tour bus rolls on and we… picked up a freak And his eyes were all glazed and they’re suddenly clear And he’s like “Gentleman and lady, It’s time to fear.” We’re the Swamp Rats… I say the words again Though I can barely see Hello Phoenix / Chi-town / Cleveland I can’t hear you, can you hear me? Dickie plays bass like he’s stealin’ a train Glow stares while she drums like she’s froggin’ insane Beast plays guitar like he beats a storm drain And I climb a billion steps to bring this screamin’ from my brain! We’re the Swamp Rats… Dickie’s been dead….
11.
The Same 02:38
The Same I miss the world I don’t always miss the world I want it back I don’t always want it back I get excited, I get tired I get hungry, I get wired I see you in the mirror and the Likeness is convincing I’m convinced x2 I’m rocket-fueled I’m atom-sized I’m the same I’m the same I’m the same 100 years ago you x2 Wouldn’t know me If you saw my picture in the paper You couldn’t show me You wouldn’t come to my house Bringing what you brought with you And we’d never know you’ve Got someone to talk to Fence is painted, dishes are done I’ve done my taxes ‘til 2031 I’m coming to terms with the way its always done I zoom like a man from the future Wouldn’t touch her if I knew her I’m convinced I’m convinced x2 I’m rocket-fueled I’m atom-sized I’m the same I’m the same I’m the same 100 years ago you wouldn’t know me…. (same same same same same same, same same same, etc.)  
12.
Behemoths 03:42
Behemoths We don’t want to come out yet Not (even) for a buck And we also kinda like it in here Chasing our luck You can tell us all day How there are bootstraps to polish And widgets getting cold But we are right on in here With everything that matters We close the shutters Block the sound Of your voice getting old Everything I need is here In the sound of our voice Lions roar, beasts roam the world Behemoths smash our bridges Crush the Wonders of the Earth And I know We’re enough For now I can see Better here than ever before In my ivory tower Even if it’s Creeping farther from shore We close the shutters Block the sound Of your voice getting old
13.
Castle 02:27
Castle I just keep building My sugarcube castle And the rains come down

about

This is my May 2020 pandemic record, lost at sea lo these eleven months.

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released April 2, 2021

Bass, keys, toys, voice
by Douglas Gwilym.

(Unless otherwise specified.)

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Douglas Gwilym Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

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