Favorite Monsters

by Douglas Gwilym

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Nicholas Diak
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Nicholas Diak Absurd, abstract and random, but ultimately catchy and with some clever rhymes and unique imagery. Best songs are "The Shuffle" and "Mean Uncle Mogwrath" which illustrate the zanyness of Favorite Monsters. Favorite track: Mean Uncle Mogwrath.
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1.
Dirt & Water 01:51
Dirt & Water I like to talk to you You make me feel real keen I give you what you need Make you go up in green You were a shoot and now Your arms reach for the sun And I could almost swear You're reaching for that gun I like the way you make me feel I think it's symbiosis There's more than one way to be real It's just like dirt and water I leave the lights down low I feel them getting near Our arms are intertwined The water running clear I haven't been to work They're in for a surprise They walk right in my house I take their hands in mine The water flowing red We photosynthesize I like the way you make me feel I think it's symbiosis There's more than one way to be real It's just like dirt and water I like to talk to you You make me feel real keen I give you what you need Make you go up in green You were a shoot and now Your arms reach for the sun And I could almost swear You're reaching for that gun We photosynthesize. We photosynthesize.
2.
Face 01:29
Face I can't help but notice That you wear a person mask But you mustn't think you're fooling me I will come right out and ask Are you hiding 'cause you know that There's no place for us to share? Underneath the glass and rubber I can see me lurking there You've got my face There's no way I'll let it stand I'm coming for it Can't let it fall in the wrong hands I've got the tools And I can use them on the run You've got my face You've got it staring at the sun
3.
Home Sweet Home You should never, have ever Put your high rise up on me Stuck me with these shoes Put me up upon that tree Now I'm back to let you know I can really shake 'em down I'm a burning eskimo I'm-a murdelize your town Take me to the bottom I'll rise back up to the top I'm a toaster on the edge And the water's nice and hot Can you hear me on the line I've got my thumbprints in your eyes I will never never stop Don't know how to compromise I may be trapped inside the bones Of your home sweet home But I've got a hunger in my soul and You're the shape to fit the hole I'm all the faces in your book now I've got your passwords in my brain I'll give you microwaves and hell and Put your goldfish down the drain I'll put my tendrils in your love And I will make her understand I am everything you've lost I am everything she planned.
4.
She 02:23
She She's as shy as an oyster She's happy as a gun You will never understand She thinks that you're the only one Got a kisser like a grizzly Eyes like soda cans She wants to take you in her arms Wants to make you hold her hand She knows you She knows you She knows you Like the back of her hand Your eyes are so shiny And your teeth are so white Your hair would make a pillow That would get her through the night She's in the next aisle When you're at the grocery store She still can wait a little while To get you on the floor
5.
That Shuffle 01:46
That Shuffle I do that shuffle I do the thing my people do I walk the walk and eat the eat I never tie my shoes You are my favorite midnight snack I hem you in with a little help from my friends We launch a protozo-attack We put you down, we tuck you in To our agenda and our creed And you will never be alone Your head rolls up across that purple rug Right up the steps, ascends the throne And you don't ever have to worry That what you do is in the wrong 'Cause you are us and we are you We justify us with this song
6.
Tight 02:35
Tight Hold your dolly tight, little man Or her arms may do bad things in the night Hold your dolly tight as you can And you'll never have to die
7.
Mean Uncle Mogwrath I got tired of all this making What am I a factory? Y'kids don't listen and you're crazy Had the nerve to try to murder me Just like your uncles, aunts, and cousins Take two eggs, make a rotten egg I'm a tell you what it wasn't Show you what's inside my hollow leg Mean Uncle Mogwrath is taking over here See if he coddles your sorry ass See if he lets you drink that beer He's a mountainous, mandibled mollusk of death And you'll do what he says or he'll poison your breath Your mother And I Are going To Reno
8.
Someplace Is 02:15
Someplace Is You all fill the air with your Favorite fears Ghosts and demons, twin pearl smiles Trolls and tears And I don't know that running's not a Real wise thing to do But they don't look so big to me Not so big I don't want to see: around, past, through I've got this thing That I think I'd like to try Give the monsters a rest, give your legs a break Let's all be someplace, let's all lend a hand Someplace is a place to stand
9.
Secret Shoes 01:22
Secret Shoes You think you know me You think you know that of which I am capable You think you've seen what I can do I'm the city you live in I'm the towers above you But I've got a secret set of shoes There's a robot geek Who I call Papa He's not the only one in the Triangle Who's seen too much Voltron But he's the one With the nanites and wire He's the only one who put the switches in And turned them on I stretch my legs One of them is the Gulf Tower I'm not interested in destruction Though I make Godzilla look like a turtle There's no need to fear me We are one and the same The time has come for dancing Don't mind the rain
10.
The I.K. 02:54
The I.K. Nibik was insufferably smug No one knew his first name But they knew his mind on everything From Zoroaster to aspartame He knew so much by his esteem He didn't need to do things He talked and talked and never stopped About perfect things and true things The Internet Kittens came for him On the first night they could think of The I.K. came and ate his face The Internet Kittens on parade When Garbage Girl met Nibik, it was Junk at first sight She was contrary as a five-year-old He was a god of always right She made their love a spectacle A waggling tongue of purple prose Her words couldn't get a thought across But she sure looked down her nose The Internet Kittens came for her On the first night they could think of The I.K. came and ate her mouth The Internet Kittens on parade And there's another one Dinosaur's only son Got a skin so thin, don't nick it He started everything, but will he finish it Before they throw him in that thicket? When Garbage Girl and Nibik Staked their claim and laid it down He promptly crumpled like a doll Rewound himself right out of town The Internet Kittens came for him On the first night they could think of The I.K. came and ate his heart The Internet Kittens on parade
11.
The Wolves Are Whispering The wolves are whispering That it's time to make our move We've played the fool ten thousand years We've been patient and true Have you ever known a wolf To have a poker tell? Our yea is yea, our nay is nay We've used the time well The prophecies are very clear We'll let you play your final card Then peacefully take bench and throne There's no need to make it hard Gehuil Urlik hyle Urlik hyle vyt Midradradra Menggonggong Panagminatay And then will come ten thousand years Of Hunt and Prowl, of serve the pack Of elevated nourishment A time to howl Gehuil Urlik hyle Urlik hyle vyt Midradradra Menggonggong Panagminatay Gehuil Urlik hyle Urlik hyle vyt Midradradra Menggonggong Panagminatay
12.
Green Hair Red Sometimes I don't know what I gotta do To get you to come At Christmas I've got reindeer In November, I've got two white sparkling fish How could you not think that was the bomb? It's hard to keep up with the lingo Reception's tough in a tidal pool But I died my green hair red Keep up with Kim through the fish in school Sometimes I don't know what I gotta do To get you to come A girl's gotta eat, you know A girl's gotta eat Should I try another frequency I want to make you complete A girl's gotta eat, you know A girl's gotta eat Should I try another frequency I want to make you complete
13.
V Babies 02:03
V Babies "It's a colony of Egyptian hog-nosed mega bats, Hinkins. It's the find of the century! Hinkins...?" We fly as high as we want to We fly as high as we can We don't remember mothers We're sure we never were a fan We see ourselves in the water And maybe we look like them But we'll never miss the way they combed our hair Or the red-faced count to ten The earth clothes us in its soil Our needs are met in the clouds There's no need to talk or toil When we don't want to We don't come down Their teeth are dull, they cannot fly Let's not talk about them anymore Our teeth are sharp, they do the job Like bolt cutters through the chain on a door We sleep together, upside down In pajama feet and tattered gowns If we ever came home for a hug We'd leave you sleeping on the rug The earth clothes us in its soil Our needs are met in the clouds There's no need to talk or toil When we don't want to We don't come down ("Hinkins...?")
14.
Walkie Talkies I get it, you're excited To know somebody who can do it too All those years of listening, no one hearing But don't make me hulk out on you I work alone, but anyway, I can see you at a glance Matching walkie-talkies in our brains But we haven't got a chance You like that sport I like laughing at people who like that sport Your politics isn't left or right enough Your religion isn't black or white enough I tag your house You call me a vandal I see what you do with that toilet paper roll and It's a scandal I get it, you're excited To know somebody who can do it too All those years of listening, no one hearing But don't make me hulk out on you I work alone, but anyway, I can see you at a glance Matching walkie-talkies in our brains But we haven't got a chance You like that book I like laughing at people who like that book Turn signal isn't left or right enough Your handle isn't loose or tight enough I burn your house You call it... arson You can never know another person You can never know another
15.
Big Boy / Yorokobi Big Boy I've been looking Been looking for you all my life You overturned my schooner And you terrorized my wife We won't be done here Till I've got that trophy head of yours We eschew fun here We only know the love of war Yorokobi I'm here to play I have arms enough to love everyone I understand everything you say We will be friends until the end You like fun too? I'll show you how we dance I juggle my friends in Greenland While I tickle with my friends in France Big Boy I've been looking Been looking for you all my life You overturned my schooner And you terrorized my wife We won't be done here Till I've got that trophy head of yours We eschew fun here We only know the love of war Yorokobi, I'm here to play You're my very favorite pet I have loved you in every way Your toys are the funnest yet I hope you'll never leave me Though I see that you are tired You can do it, don't stop fighting Play is play's own reward
16.
Go Home 02:15
Go Home A.T. go home now The novelty's worn off Write an app to get your ship back Bike past the moon and don't get off Hatey has a hand in all that junkmail you get He hasn't had to fill out a form since I-don't-know-when Bad memories of chicken pox turn to shingles, set your soul on fire Can't catch him with a candy trail, fire tongs, or chicken wire It's him who cuts you off in traffic When you need him, he's always on the phone He's shouting in your movie He may be the cancer that ate Rome A.T. go home now The novelty's worn off Write an app to get your ship back Bike past the moon and don't get off A.T. go home now The novelty's worn off Write an app to get your ship back Bike past the moon and don't get off Bad penny, worst dollar You choose your words with care But he will take them and he will twist them to Sky-write your misery in the air A.T. go home now The novelty's worn off Write an app to get your ship back Bike past the moon and don't get off

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"Fold your wings & unhinge your jaw: feast upon Favorite Monsters,
16 tasty little horror-pop sojourns into madness."

***NEW MIX & MASTER ON THE WAY FOR SPRING 2020***

For more, check out FM's spiritual predecessor, The Deep Dark Scary Dark BIG SCARY FOREST: lizardsea.bandcamp.com/album/the-deep-dark-scary-dark-big-scary-forest-feothan

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released May 9, 2019

written & performed by Douglas Gwilym

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Glum Glow Daisy Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

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